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Two years ago, my life was at a major turning point. I had just made the difficult decision to transition out of my role as a nonprofit executive while simultaneously processing new diagnoses of ADHD and anxiety.
In what felt like perfect timing, my coach introduced me to a mental fitness program that transformed how I understood myself and my leadership style. For the first time, I came face-to-face with my "saboteurs" – those inner voices that had been dictating how I led, reacted, and moved through the world. Through this work, I discovered my particular trio: the Controller, the Pleaser, and the Restless. While these patterns had helped me succeed in the past, they were now the very things preventing me from becoming the leader I wanted to be – and they were deeply intertwined with my ADHD and anxiety in ways I was only beginning to understand. Everyone's saboteur pattern is uniquely their own and comes with their own unique but equally harmful costs. You might recognize some of these saboteur patterns...
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For much of my life, I believed that my value came from having the answers. Whether in school, work, or relationships, I felt an intense pressure to be the problem-solver, the leader, the person who could fix everything. Perhaps you've felt this too – the exhausting role of being the person who always needs to know what to do.
The cost of always having answers This need to have all the answers comes with a price: it limits our ability to connect with others and prevents us from seeing the wisdom and capability in those around us. After years in nonprofit leadership roles, I discovered what many leaders face – achieving goals but at an unsustainable personal cost and not leaving space for and unlocking the potential of the people around you. |
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