 I've been flip-flopping for months about signing up for a community garden plot.
This 10x4ft raised bed has a lot of potential—full sun, endless possibilities for flowers, tomatoes, and salad greens. I've had dreams of this space being a home for my creativity and a way to be outside with my family and connect with the earth. But then there are the weeds, the soil that's likely devoid of nutrients, the time I don't have. What if I wasted my energy? What if I failed? Over the weekend, I asked my 12 year old son if he wanted to bring this dream to life. Not only did he say yes, but hours later he followed up: "So are you going to get that plot then?" That powerful question was the edge I needed.
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 Before you read this, try something with me. Close your eyes for a moment and take a deep breath. Place your hand on your heart and ask yourself: when someone last offered you genuine appreciation, did you let it in? Or did you push it away before it could really land?
I'm going to get personal. Receiving compliments and gifts makes me uncomfortable. When someone tells me I did a good job, my immediate response is to deflect: "Oh, it was really no big deal." When someone offers me a gift, I wish I had a present to give right back to them. It's easy to kid myself that this is humility. What I know now is that it's fear of the intimacy of being in deep connection with others. When Receiving Becomes Giving I was fourteen when my cousin tried to pay me for babysitting. I pushed the money away—"No, don't worry about it." Have you ever noticed how certain places make you feel more like yourself? How stepping into your favorite café suddenly makes creative ideas flow, or how a particular room in your house makes you feel more calm, light, and centered?
What's equally telling—and often more important to recognize—are the spaces that seem to pull you in older versions of yourself. The office where you automatically become more cautious. The family kitchen where you lose yourself in tending to everyone else's needs. The childhood bedroom where you feel fourteen again. We don't just occupy spaces—they occupy us. And sometimes, the next phase of our growth requires us to change our scenery. Confession… I am a little obsessive about not letting anything slip through the cracks.
I aim to write down every task, deadline, and commitment I make to myself and to others and I check in on my list multiple times a day. And I love checking items off this list. But earlier this year I realized something important was slipping through the cracks: I was getting lost in doing what I do rather than being who I am. That's when I started creating my "to-be" list.  Headlines remind us daily of the volatility affecting our world, with ripple effects reaching deeply into communities, organizations, and our personal lives. None of us is immune to challenges being hurled our way.
In precarious and divisive moments, our natural instinct often drives us to grasp for certainty — something solid to anchor ourselves. Wired for survival, our instinctive responses to stress so easily trigger fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. What if the most powerful response to uncertainty is leaning into the not knowing and asking questions? Questions can… |
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