"How authentic am I?" A simple assessment

Have you ever caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and thought, 'Who is that person looking back at me?' Not because of new wrinkles or gray hairs, but because something deeper feels out of alignment. This isn't about appearance; it's about authenticity.
Life constantly pulls at us, asking us to become something we're not. When we repeatedly sacrifice our authentic selves to please others or adapt to circumstances, we gradually feel more disconnected from our core.
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For anyone in a service or leadership role, showing up misaligned comes with consequences. Whether you support clients, lead a team, or care for family members, your ability to be present for others diminishes when you're disconnected from yourself.

​Authenticity = Fierce Courage + Connection + Aliveness
There are three essential qualities that help us return to our authentic selves:

• ​Fierce courage allows you to express your truth, even difficult truths. It implies a certain quality of communication—not just blunt honesty, but truth spoken with intention and heart. It's the content of what you say and how you choose to say it. This pillar acknowledges how our need for approval often conflicts with authentic expression.
  
• Connection supports living in alignment with your values and making room for all the parts of you, including what you might hide or judge. This foundation of self-connection establishes the template for how you connect with others. When you’re connected to yourself, you naturally create authentic relationships with others because you are showing up as who you truly are.
  
• Aliveness confirms you’re experiencing life fully through your authentic self, both in the body and mind. It's characterized by a sense of vitality and gratitude, present-moment awareness, and an embodied experience (like feeling your heartbeat). Aliveness serves as both a symptom and a cause of authenticity. When you’re authentic, you feel more alive; when you pursue what makes you feel alive, you become more authentic. These three pillars work much like the legs of a stool—each one essential for stability. When one pillar weakens, the others are affected. Without courage, our connections become superficial. Without connection, our courage lacks meaning. Without aliveness, both courage and connection feel mechanical.
  

Together, they create a holistic approach to being genuinely ourselves.

Your Authenticity Assessment
Take a moment right now to rate yourself on each quality from 1-10:

• Fierce Courage: ___/10
• Connection: ___/10
• Aliveness: ___/10

​What's your highest score? Your lowest? What simple action could you take today to increase your lowest score by just a few points?

Personal Reflections for Each Pillar
To explore each pillar more fully, consider these reflection questions. You might focus on your lowest-rated area first or simply choose the question(s) that resonate most with you right now.

For Fierce Courage:

• Where in your life are you saying "I'm fine" when you're not? 
• What conversations are you avoiding that need to happen?
• If your most courageous self could speak right now about something important in your life, what would they say?

For Connection:

• When was the last time you sat with yourself without distractions? What did you discover?
• When do you feel most "at home" in your own skin? What environments and relationships support this feeling?
• In your next conversation, notice when you're formulating a response versus truly absorbing what the other person is sharing.

For Aliveness:

• What activities consistently drain your energy versus energize you? Are you scheduling your life accordingly?
• How might you engage all five senses more fully in your daily routines?
• Which emotions do you welcome, and which do you tend to avoid? What might be gained by experiencing the full spectrum?

Bringing More Authenticity to Your Relationships
Whether with your team or personal connections, try this approach to share the power of authenticity:

1. Choose the right moment - For teams, use a regular meeting; for personal relationships, find a relaxed time when neither person is rushed.
2. Introduce the three pillars explaining fierce courage, connection, and aliveness
3. Create safety by going first - Share your own assessment: "I'd rate myself a 6 on fierce courage because..." being specific about where you're strong and where you struggle.
4. Invite reflection - Ask others to privately consider where they stand with each pillar on a scale of 1-10.
5. Invite sharing - "What's one area you'd like to strengthen, and what small action could you take this week?"
6. Offer thought-provoking prompts like:
   • "Where might we be avoiding necessary conversations?"
   • "How could we create more moments of genuine presence together?"
   • "What activities or practices help us feel most alive?"
7. Co-create next steps - "What's one small thing we could do together to strengthen these qualities?"
8. Follow up thoughtfully - At your next interaction, briefly check in on how intentions played out, celebrating both progress and learning.

You’ll find quickly that authenticity is contagious—as you risk showing up more genuinely, you create space for others to do the same.

A Season of Renewal
As we enter spring—a time of rebirth and renewal —consider what needs to bloom in your authentic self by planting seeds of courage through one small truth you've been hesitating to express, cultivating deeper connection by establishing a practice that roots you in your values, and inviting aliveness by making space for activities that bring color to your world. 

Authenticity isn't a destination but a practice of continually returning to your true self, with days of perfect alignment and days of disconnection both being part of the journey. When we align with who we truly are, we not only live more fulfilling lives but create an unspoken permission for others to express their authenticity as well—your personal practice becoming a gift to everyone around you.

With hopes of more fierce courage, connection, and aliveness in all of your days...
Megan

PS: What one small step toward greater authenticity will you take today? I'd love to hear about your journey.